Natural Childbirth Part 2 ... Pitocin

Pitocin is the synthetic version of the natural hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is a wonderful thing that plays a huge role in pregnancy, labor, bonding and breastfeeding. It is often called the "love hormone". Pitocin is used to either induce or augment labor, often without any medical justification. When pitocin is used it interferes with the natural release of oxytocin. Unfortunately pitocin is a poor substitute for the real thing. God's design is always far superior to man's.

One difference is oxytocin is produced in bursts and pitocin is given in a continuous steady IV drip. This causes contractions that are longer, stronger, closer together and more painful. For the mom this often means she will require pain relief, for the baby it often means that there is not enough time between contractions for the baby to get the oxygen and blood supply that it desperately needs. This can cause abnormal fetal heart rates and fetal distress which can lead to instrumental delivery or C-section.

It is estimated that 50+% of women receive pitocin either to induce or augment their labor. One reknowned obstetrician called it the most abused drug in america. In my third labor the Drs. wanted to give me pitocin soon after arriving at the hospital, which I refused. They came back almost every hour wanting to administer pitocin to "speed things up". At 11:30 am the Dr. told me she would be back in an hour and I would have to get pitocin if I hadn't "progressed" enough. She was late coming back and Nikki was born at 1:00 PM (just 1.5 later!) I did not need "help" with my labor and I knew it. Most women do not have this confidence or are not armed with enough knowledge and blindly accept what the Dr. says they "need". Just remember.... God designed a woman's body to be able to deliver her baby. In the vast majority of cases, HIS design works... and it is better and healthier for mom and babe.

Natural Childbirth: What's the big deal anyway?

I haven't had much of a chance to post about natural childbirth as I had hoped. Something about having 5 kids and being pregnant for your sixth keeps a girl busy (or sick, or tired) or all three.

Let me start by saying that my thoughts about childbirth are an extension of my trust and faith in God's design for women and babies. More often than not, when this intricate process is NOT interfered with, mom and baby will have their best start possible. This is not just an opinion, but it is backed up by scientific research. This is also not to say that there aren't times when intervention is necessary and lifesaving. Thank God for giving us the knowledge and expertise to save mothers and babies when things DO NOT go as planned. But here is where the problem lies. We in America have taken that knowledge and expertise and decided that "Doctor knows better" and we micro manage labor and delivery. Stripping membranes, Induction, augmentation, breaking your water, pitocin, IV during labor, Epidural anesthesia, episiotomy just to name a few. I'm willing to bet that nearly all women have had one or many of these interventions without medical cause. I know that I have.

The following is a short video clip from "The Business of Being Born" on the "cascade of interventions" that can happen once we start to interfere with the natural process of labor. I have seen this happen time and time and time again.

The saddest thing

Yesterday Kloe made a couple of bad choices and she got into some pretty big trouble. i was giving her a bath and she could tell I was still pretty upset with her about the most recent incident which involved deceit.

She said to me: "Mommy, I go bye bye?"
Me: "What do you mean Kloe? Why do you think you are going bye bye?"
Kloe: "Because I trouble"

She was afraid that I was going to send her away because she had been in trouble. UGH!!! It's such a hard thing to balance. On one hand when they do something seriously wrong, you want them to know it, but on the other hand you want them to feel safe and secure and KNOW that they KNOW that they KNOW that they are forever and always a part of your family and NOTHING will change that. Of course I quickly told Kloe, as I have many times before...

"You will forever and always be my daughter, and a part of our family. NOTHING you say or do will EVER change that."

I hope and pray that someday she believes me.

Words and Time

I have the desire to blog about what is going on in our crazy lives, but when I have the time I can't find the words, and when I have the words, I can't find the time! So tonight I am going to blog anyway!

Where to start... this week we just passed our 6 month anniversary of being home with Jordan and Kloe. The adjustment has been so difficult in many ways and yet I feel it has gone extremely well. Difficult and well can go together. I did not expect many of the issues we have had, and we have not had many of the issues I expected. One example would be attachment. I fully expected that it would take time for Jordan and Kloe to attach to Mark and I. I did not expect to find it just as difficult for us to attach to them. It is happening, but it is a long slow process.

I did not expect to learn how inadequate I am as a mother. Seriously. Every day I see how incapable I am of being the mom that God asks me to be, and every day I need HIS grace, mercy, and strength in my weakness.

I did not expect the little things to bother me so much. One of our kids doesn't listen well and often does the exact thing you tell them not to do. Not defiant, just impulsive and forgetful and it drives me CRAZY. One of our children is obsessed with food. We have to tightly control the types and amounts of food that this child is allowed to have and it drives me CRAZY. One child is having a very rough time communicating in English, and a lot of it seems to be lack of effort (I say this because if we refuse to listen to the "lazy" English, suddenly they know how to say things right)and it drives me CRAZY. All of those things are so very very minor and yet I did not expect them to get under my skin the way they do.

Having said all that there are also so many positive things I did not expect. I did not expect that all my kids would get along so well, and have such genuine affection for one another. I did not expect Kloe and Nikki to be best buds, but they are. I did not expect the great amount of joy that Jordan and Kloe's love for life brings to everyone around them. I did not expect them to be the wonderful helpers that they are and I did not expect that they would do nearly every task and chore I give them with enthusiasm and joy!

The moral of the story for those who are coming along behind us in their adoption journey.... Expect the Unexpected!!!

Gestational Diabetes... pashoooey.

Is pashooey a word? Ah well, I am going to make a prediction right now that I do not have a real blood sugar problem. It's a bit early to be so bold, but today when I went to the dietician she showed me how to use the glucometer my blood sugar was a very low 73 two hours after eating breakfast!! They only worry if your number is over 130!!! Then after lunch I got a 96. Doesn't sound like a woman with blood sugar issues to me!!

I am in the process of switching OB's to one my midwife recommends as being more natural birth minded. The hospital I will deliver at is 45 minutes away on a good traffic day. It's not my first choice, but I had to commit to a hospital or a homebirth and I didn't want to pay a bunch of money for our homebirth and end up at the hospital in the end anyway. So my mid-wife has graciously agreed to take the money I have paid her thus far and act as my doula. She even spent over an hour talking with me today. She is awesome, and I am sad she will not be catching my baby at home. I trust that God knows what I don't though, and that this is for the best.

Interracial Marriage

As a momma with two brown skinned children, the issue of interracial families and marriages is bound to come up, not only amongst ourselves, but also with friends, acquaintances and curious strangers. Almost everyone has an opinion on the subject, and some might even sound pretty good, but what I am really interested in is what God has to say about it.

The following is an article written by John Piper on interracial marriage from a Biblical perspective. It is EXCELLENT and I highly recommend everyone read it and see where your thoughts line up or perhaps need to be realigned to match up with the truths God has revealed in His word.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2005/198_Racial_Harmony_and_Interracial_Marriage/

FAILED!

Today I had my one hour glucose screening test for gestational diabetes. For the first time in any of my pregnancies I did not pass! I have to go back next week for the three hour glucose tolerance test. Apparently being a "mature" mom puts you at a higher risk. I have never had a big baby and I don't really want to start now... LOL. However, Nathan was measuring more than two weeks ahead of my due date when I had my ultrasound, I already feel him in my ribs and I am only 23 weeks. I am wondering if we just might get our first big baby. YIKES! If it turns out that I have gestational diabetes I would not go ahead with our plans for a home birth. We just live too far from the hospital (45 minutes), and I am a small person, so we won't take any chances. I am hoping though, that I easily pass my 3 hour test and that I have nothing to worry about!!

God is good, ALL the time.

We have been home with Jordan and Kloe for five months now.  I have been pregnant for almost five months.  I have been sick with morning (all day!) sickness followed by two back to back colds for 4 out of those 5 months.  All this makes for a very uninspired blogger!   

Times like this I always come back to a song that has great meaning for Mark and I...Blessed be the name of the LORD!  God is not only good when life is easy and everything is going well, but He is also good when life is really hard and a major effort to get through the day.   I don't ever want to praise God for the sunshine and not the rain, for it is the rain that makes the sunshine all the more precious and beautiful.

One year ago....

One year ago Bereket and Burtu's uncle signed the paperwork to relinquish them for adoption. He was given these pictures, and he let us photograph them.

While these pictures are hard to look at, the reflect the reality of the sadness they were going through at that time. They are a part of their story. I am so thankful that for Jordan and Kloe this was not only an ending, but a beginning of something new. New life, new joy, new family...

While far from easy, adopting Jordan and Kloe has been one of the biggest blessings in our lives. They are truly gifts from God to our family. Their love of life really is contagious, and I am so proud to be their mama!

What a difference a year can make!!

Happy Happenings

I love fall!! I am so excited that the more moderate temps. have arrived. I am also excited to be spending the winter pregnant, as usually I freeze in winter, but hopefully this year, thanks to baby Nathan, I won't be perpetually cold for 3 months!! Here are some pics to let you know what we have been up to...

This was the day we celebrated Luke's birthday. We visited the "Big Dam Bridge" and later we had a homemade ice cream cake... YUM!

Kloe girl has two loose teeth. I am sad to see her beautiful baby tooth smile come to an end, but she sure is having fun making crazy faces. I have a feeling she will be singing the traditional "All I want for Christmas" song before too long!

Mark found some rope and put up this tire swing in the back yard. The kids love it!

Luke has decided to join the football team! He is too late to play this season, but he will practice with them and go to games and then be a regular team member next season. Isn't he handsome? :-)

Jordan is such a goofball! He is loved by everyone he meets. Recently his teacher emailed me to tell me how much he is loved by all the staff and students and how his "Love for life is contagious!" I have to agree!

Katie is looking at going to college in VA. Financial concerns have been at the front of all of our minds and something I have been praying about often. Last night we got some great news! She is a national merit scholarship semi-finalist (Hopefully she'll make finalist!) and one of the colleges she is interested in offers a complete tuition scholarship for semi finalists and a FULL scholarship for finalists. WOW!!

SISTERS!!

IT'S A BOY!!! A.K.A. The story of Nathan James

We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and found out that we are having a BOY! This is the story of Nathan James... his name "James" was given to us as a promise in 1999. At that time we had no idea how crazy the journey would be to our son. It's a long story, but a good one, because God is good.

After Katie and Luke were born Mark thought "One boy, One girl" life is good, we are done. When Luke was just 3 months old, I reluctantly agreed that Mark could get a vasectomy. I didn't really want him to, but didn't want to have a child he didn't want either. I remember praying that God would change his mind. That was late 1994.

By 1998 I really wanted another child, and started "nagging" Mark to see about getting a reversal. I think his exact words were "If God wants me to get a reversal, He is going to have to write it in lipstick on the wall." After that I felt like the Lord was telling me to "shut up and pray". Not an easy thing for a woman to do! :-) A few months passed and Mark said to me one day, "I've been thinking... I'd kind of like another baby too." THAT my friends was a GOD thing!

So in 1998 Mark had a reversal and after about a year of trying we still were not pregnant. I was talking to some good Christian friends of mine who now have 8 kids, and they encouraged me to ask God if He had a child for us and to give me a name as a promise, they said they would also pray. I started to pray and ask God for a name and felt like God gave me the name "Jacob". My friends prayed for us and the husband felt like God spoke the name "James". I thought this was interesting, although I was curious as to why God would give each of us two different names. That was in 1999.

Fast forward 5 more years. No pregnancy, no baby. I had stopped really even thinking about the possibility. I am content with whatever God's plan is for our family, but in the back of my mind I always wondered why God moved on Mark to get the reversal, and why God gave us two boy names. If God did not plan to give us a child, why did this happen?

In 2004 we were living in Japan and we were both SHOCKED to discover that I was pregnant. 6 years post vasectomy and our kids were 11 and 9!! After the shock wore off, we were of course very happy. Unfortunately at 10.5 weeks we discovered that the baby had no heartbeat. 3 days after losing the baby I was pouring my heart out to God. God do you have another child for us? What about the name you gave me Jacob? or James? And why two names?? It was then that I suddenly realized something that I would never have known had we not been living in Japan. Jacob and James are the same name! They have the same meaning. The book of James in the Japanese Bible is called "Jacob". Jacob is Hebrew and James is Greek but they both have the same meaning. What is it? Supplanter. Replacement. At that moment I felt like God was saying I will replace this blessing that you have lost. Okay God but what if this is just me making all this up in my head? Should I really hold out hope that you have promised us this son? Immediately I was reminded of a card a friend sent me the week before. I ran to grab it and the verse on the front was Hebrews 10:23 and it read "Hold fast to the hope that you have been given, for He who promised is faithful."

Now remember this had been our only pregnancy in 6 years. Getting pregnant again was a long shot! But I did feel as if God wanted me to hope. One year later on Mother's day in 2005 I found out I was pregnant again. Surely this was God's promise!! However, on Father's day I miscarried again. Again I poured my heart out to God and again He gave me a promise from His word...

Romans 4:20-21

He (Abraham) did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform."

9 months later in Feb. of 2006 we were pregnant once again! Surely this was our James/Jacob!! Well if you know us very well, you will know that this was not a boy but rather our precious Nicole Emily who will be 3 next month. Now we were really confused!! Maybe the name was just "metaphorical" and not meant for us to take it in the literal sense of a son?? Who can understand God's ways!!?

When Nikki was 18 months old God let us to adopt. 3 months into the process I became pregnant again, and once again I miscarried. Out of my last 4 pregnancies, Nikki was the only one to make it to term. She is truly a miracle.

The adoption continued and we came home with Jordan Bereket and Kloe Burtu on May 2, and I got a positive pregnancy test on May 27. I was pretty sure this was our boy. Mark insisted that even if it was a girl, her name would be Jamina or some such derivative of the name James. I think he was afraid we would keep having babies until we gave one the name God had given us!!

Today at our sonogram it was no surprise when the tech said "IT'S A BOY!" We think we are going to name this baby "Nathan James". Nathan means "God has given" and "James" means "Replacement". In full it means God has given us a replacement blessing. (As a dear friend of mine said the other day...anyone who has ever lost a child knows that that child can NEVER be replaced which is why we say God has replaced our blessing not our baby.)

While I am overwhelmed at the thought of being a mom to 6 kids, I am excited to see God's plan unfold for our sweet son, our decade old promise from God.

Look out Branson... The Van Clan is heading your way!!

Tomorrow around lunch time we will head to Branson for the America World Adoption Africa Reunion. Around 25 families from the same agency are getting together for some great fun and fellowship. Jordan and Kloe are sooo excited to see their old friends from the transition home in Ethiopia. Although, Kloe was a little confused tonight when I told her we are NOT going to Ethiopia tomorrow. She still thinks of her friends as being in Africa.

We received a special blessing in that we won a raffle for a 3 bedroom 3 bath condo to stay in for the weekend. Actually another sweet family won, but they could not be contacted all day. The condo manager had to have the info tonight, so we were drawn as the second winners. I am happy, but it is hard to be too happy since I know another family is losing out! I am sorry H clan and I hope everything is okay with you guys!!

The condo is a huge financial blessing to us as with such a large family we had to have TWO hotel rooms for three nights. We will save a lot of money!! We are soooo blessed!!!

Look out Branson... Here we come!!!

My mom called last week and said that they wanted to come for a quick weekend visit. When I told the kids they were sooo excited and kept counting down the days. They had met Grandma and Grandpa when they first arrived in the states and talked on the phone many times since. Kloe and Jordan enjoyed the attention they received and had a great time as did the other kids, but I neglected to prepare them for one thing. Saying goodbye! It never dawned on me to let them know that this would be a short visit and Grandma and Grandpa would have to go back home. When we said it is time to say goodbye, one look at Jordan's face and I knew we were in trouble. Kloe's alligator tears soon followed! It was so sad, and I think it broke Grandma's heart! Thankfully they were much better before long, but I am sure they are anxious for the next visit!!

Here are some pics from our trip to the zoo. I was so mad that I didn't get a single one of Grandma and Grandpa!!!

Kloe has to have bling even for the zoo! (How did I get a girly girl??)

Jordan love to wear Daddy's uniform hat. We had to get an extra one.

It's so rare these days that we get to do family things with our biggest (BUSY) girl!

The WHOLE Van Clan (Baby bump and all!)

The Kidlets

Luke is such an awesome big brother.

Happy 17th Birthday Boo Bear!

We had a great day celebrating Katie's 17th birthday yesterday! (her actual birthday is today) This is quite possibly the worst rendition of Happy Birthday most of you will ever hear! Katie asked us to put all the candles in one cupcake, which is why the flame is HUGE!! Can't believe my baby girl is 17. CRAZY!

First day of school!

I have been such a blogging slacker lately. Probably because life is fairly routine and super busy. I don't like to blog without pictures yet my preggo brain can never remember the camera! The kids had their first day of school Wednesday, and I have no pictures!! Anyway, they loved it and had a great time.

They take packed lunches and Jordan informed me that he didn't need to take a lunch because there is a big kitchen at school. I told him that school lunch cost money and he didn't have any, so he is stuck with PB&J!!

Katie will be taking them in the morning but they bring a bus home. They don't go to the elementary school in our zone, but to the one further away that is designated the "ESL school" (English as Second Language). So to bring the bus home they have to get out 30 minutes early and get shuttled to two other schools before finally catching the bus to our house. The first day they got "stuck" at one of the schools because there was no shuttle. The next day all was well though and they came home on the bus. YEAH!!

Yesterday Kloe told me that she cried at school. I thought she might have missed me until she said "YEAH, school finished, I cry". She didn't want the day to be over!! She burst my mommy bubble, right quick!

Nikki has cried for the kids 2 out of the 3 days when we left them at the school. It is so sad yet so sweet at the same time. And she really seems to enjoy the Nikki and Mommy time once our day gets started.

I had my OB appointment AND my midwife appointment yesterday. 2 minutes with the OB and an hour with the midwife. Just another of the many reasons I am choosing a midwife/homebirth!!

Henceforth...I am going to TRY to be a better picture taker and blogger, but no promises!!

Just stuff

Little by little I am starting to feel better. I still take 1/2 unisom and a vitamin B6 at night, but that helps me get through the next day. Today I actually felt good enough to go to the gym. I was totally spent after 30 minutes of cardio... but it's a start!!

Lately we have caught Kloe singing different English songs around the house. She loves to sing. She can sing whole melodies and she just makes up words when she can't remember the english. Too cute. A current favorite of hers is Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise". Today it was playing in the car on the way to the gym and she sang her heart out and lifted her hands up in praise. I thought it was so cool that she has no idea what the words say, but she knows that it is song of praise to God. Just beautiful.

Speaking of Kloe... the girl has mastered riding a bike without training wheels. She can even get started all by herself which only took her a couple days to learn. Jordan took a couple weeks to get that one down!

Today we bought lunch bags for the kids to start school and they were sooooooo excited. Kloe is going to start kindergarten and after talking with the principal we decided to put Jordan in first grade. We decided it was better to put him in a younger grade where he can feel successful and perhaps we can move him up later, than to put him in a higher grade where he would be completely lost. It's a hard decision, but to start with we are placing priority on his academic need over his social need.

I am finally starting to get a little bump and if I wear the right clothes I actually look "a little" pregnant. Over the next few months I will probably be posting a lot about pregnancy and birth and things that I have learned and what led me down the path to a home birth. Since I am pregnant, it is what I spend a lot of time thinking about, researching and learning about, I am also very passionate about natural birth, so of course I will also be blogging about it! For my babyfit friends out there, and anyone else who is pregnant or planning on having more babies, I hope you will find it interesting and informative.

Think about it!

I saw this on a fellow adoptive momma's blog and had to repost it!

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, 2009

Food for Thought

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence: 

from bondage to spiritual faith, 
from spiritual faith to great courage,
from courage to liberty, 
from liberty to abundance, 
from abundance to selfishness,
from selfishness to complacency,
from complacency to apathy,
from apathy to dependency,
from dependency back to bondage."

attributed to Lord Woodhouselee (Alexander Fraser Tytler)

A Picture Post...

Mark took the kids to a mud bog... they were there 30 seconds and got dirty. They thought it was hilarious.

Kloe is doing great learning to rid her bike without training wheels. When she first got here she didn't even know how to pedal!

J man has been a bike expert since about 2 weeks after we got home. He loves to ride his bike.

Eating lunch before our first visit to the water park.

Kloe LOVED the BIG slides. She is a daredevil. Jordan is more cautious.

Luke practicing his African balancing skills. Jordan could walk around effortlessly with these on his head .

This is the day we went to court to finalize our adoption in the state of Arkansas.

The girls getting a little crazy with the hair accessories.

The kids playing outside in the rainstorm.

Our front yard flooded and they had such a good time playing in the water.

We have a midwife!!

I am just over 12 weeks pregnant and today we had an appointment with both my obstetrician and a midwife. We were able to hear our little beans heartbeat twice!!

We also took the plunge and signed a contract with the midwife. As long as I remain low risk with no complications I will be having this baby AT HOME!!!

For those of you who think having a baby at home is crazy, or dangerous, or whatever, let me assure you that I am a girl who does my research! Numerous studies have shown that a home birth for a low risk woman is AS SAFE as a hospital birth. If anyone would like to read more about it, I would be happy to provide you with resources! All I ask is that you please keep your opinion to yourself unless you have read and researched and have an opinion founded in education rather than fear.

Here is just a little bit of what I have learned...

Did you know that the C-section rate in the US is now over 30%?? That means just by walking into a hospital to labor and deliver you have a nearly 1 in 3 chance of having major abdominal surgery!! (Contrast this to the C-section rate 30 years ago.... 7%). Did you know that in many other western countries it is considered normal to deliver at home? In Holland 1 in 3 women deliver this way. Did you know that despite the fact that we have the best technology in the world our maternal and neonatal mortality rate is one of the highest of industrialized nations?

I could go on and on, but I am sure this subject bores most people so I will get off my soap box for now! :-)

3 months!

Yesterday was our 3 month post-placement visit with our social worker. As we sat talking I was amazed at what a difference 3 months makes. Those first weeks were filled with exhaustion, fear, grief, overwhelming emotions and so many changes for the kids and for us. But yesterday as I was describing life in our home NOW, it bore no resemblance. Now, we are a family. We are comfortable, I don't remember the last time one of the kids had an emotional melt down, they are happy and healthy and FUN! (I hope that is an encouragement to those of you who have recently arrived home and are wondering when the new normal will arrive!)

I do wonder though about one thing. Jordan and Kloe are very well behaved. They are kids, and of course they need correction, but they always accept that correction willingly and change their behavior accordingly. (At least until they "forget" what we told them :-)) Of course this is wonderful if it is part of their personality, but I have to wonder if it stems from a little bit of insecurity. Like they aren't certain yet what the future holds for them and they need to be on their best behavior. I wonder when they will balk for the first time at something we tell them or ask them to do, just like our other three do on a regular basis? Sometimes I wonder if that sort of "bad behavior" might actually be a good sign? A sign that they now they feel safe enough and loved enough to not be perfect.

So those of you out there with older kids who are ahead of us in this adoption journey... any thoughts on that??